Now i'll be honest and not hide the fact that I was not usually the kind of person who believed in giving someone space or time to heal if I did something wrong and wanted to fix it with them. I would usually keep pushing to talk to them or do what I can to make things right in that very moment and in my experience this pushed them further away and did more harm than good. What I didn't understand then was the importance of time and space and what kind of difference it makes in the long run. We have all heard the term "time heals all wounds" and I think there is some truth to it but it doesn't fully heal everything. Our willingness to do things that will help us move on from past trauma, relationships, etc also play a huge role in healing and growing from those moments.
There are lots of things I have been through in the past with people and myself that I sometimes look back on now and sometimes laugh or just appreciate those mistakes/moments because they all seem like a blur now compared to how much of a big deal I was making it in those moments. Time exactly has been a big part of me moving on from those moments but my willingness to put those things behind me and learn from them and in the aspect of the mistakes I have made, just being on guard and making sure I don't repeat them has also been a huge reason in me being able to move forward from them. I think in most instances we usually want the quick fix and don't really give ourselves time to feel those negative emotions we may be feeling or just the disappointment and other things that is needed to be felt in order to help us absorb those moments.
The importance of healing from those wounds is not just giving ourselves time to soak in the reality of those things but also using it as fuel to improve ourselves or looking at those things as a wake up call to start elevating to higher levels in life. An example is the 2013 San Antonio Spurs who lost to the Miami Heat in 7 games for the Nba Championship. The crazy part is the Spurs were up 3-2 in the series and were 1 minute away from winning the championship in game 6 but some missed free throws and some shots by the Heat won them game 6 and they would also go on to win game 7. The Spurs basically lost the championship and of course some of the players cried and were emotional after but they didn't shy away from those feelings. They gave themselves time to feel the feeling of lost and used that time to figure out what went wrong and used it as fuel for the next season. The next season the Spurs were back in the same position in the Nba finals against the same Miami Heat but this outcome was different.
They dominated the Heat and basically ran them off the floor winning the series 4-1 and the Championship. This is an example of using time to heal but also not staying in the moment of healing and instead using it as motivation. Time gives us the opportunity to process events and see what went wrong or what could have been done better. Time may give us a gateway to heal but at the end of the day it is up to us. We can choose to stay victim to our circumstances or we can use those times to reflect and grow. There is not a deadline on how long it may take to heal from these moments and it may be different for everyone and we should be patient and not too hard on ourselves but our willingness to drive forward is what will spark us up. "Time allows for the reflection on the difficult experience in a way to promote insight and the ability to move on" -Heather Z Zyons. This post was inspired by an article by Morgan Mandriota on Verywellmind.com. Here is the link if interested in checking it out.
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