I recently finished a book called the gift of anger by Marcia Cannon. It talked about the steps in which our anger can be used for good and how much our anger impacts everything else in our lives. This book taught me a lot and even though I knew most of these things before, I felt like I was able to take my knowledge to a higher level. Parts of the book were made up of scenarios in which people talked to the author about their experiences and how their anger was used. Some were bad and some were good but the book always brought those characters in the end and found resolutions to their problems or found different ways in which they could have better handled their situations.
This book also showed the importance of emotional intelligence and how much of an impact it makes. Personally it is something I have really improved on and I think it honestly starts with staying calm and sometimes just fully thinking about the situation at hand before acting. The book emphasized looking at both sides for when someone wrongs you or acts a certain way. Think about what prompted them to act that way or do what they may be doing. Might have to do with their upbringing, what they’re going through or simply them not seeing the impact their actions have. The book emphasizes understanding people and not being too fast to fault them because no one is perfect. Something else than can help is writing a letter to the person you are angry with but don’t give them the letter.
You actually read the letter and fully rationalize what made you angry and what has made you feel the way you’re feeling. I think one thing that is misunderstood about emotional intelligence is it can always be worked and improved on. It starts by not being easily offended or impacted by the actions of others and being able to find ways to navigate that aspect. The book also talked about forgiveness and how important it is. Forgiveness is not just for others or the ones who have wronged you but also for yourself. Once we are able to talk about what happened with others and feel no anger is when we are fully healed from the situation.
Forgiveness keeps us from holding on to burdens or things that may weigh us down in the long run. Emotional intelligence to me starts by having peace and finding peace in life starts by knowing who you are and exactly what you do and don’t stand for. By knowing what or what doesn’t bring us down, we are able to be in full control of ourselves. Being emotionally intelligent doesn’t just impact us but also the people around us. It helps them look to us as someone they can trust and look to.
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