I really don't know how to ask for help. I think that is something I have discovered about myself lately and I don't even know why. I don't know why I'm this way but I am. I have came to realize that as a man I would rather suffer as much as I can and will try everything I can do before I ask for help. It's honestly pretty weird and I don't even know why but I guess that's how I am.
One of the things that have impacted this for me is doing things for myself since I was 16. That is when I got my first job and was able to get the chance to really start taking care of myself financially and getting things I wanted. That first paycheck felt like the greatest thing in the world and I felt some form of freedom because I was able to actually buy things I wanted and in that point in time it was shoes.
Anyways after that I became more independent and took care of every little thing for myself. Even the things I was supposed to tell my parents about I just decided to put it into my own hands. Me being the oldest of 6 also played a role because I felt like everything fell on me and I wanted to be the example my siblings would look at. After High School and going through college added to my independence and as an 18 year old after High School I felt like I had been doing this since I was 16 and didn't really have to adjust to it.
So years after graduating college and navigating my adult life I kind of have this mindset of I can do all things by myself but this is not really the case. One thing that is important and what I have realized in life is society these days don't really care about what is going on with men. Most men feel alone and that they are on their own and this is honestly true. I watched an interview by the Late Kevin Samuels on the Joe Budden Podcast in which he talked about struggling in college. He talked about having nothing to eat and would put in the work because as a man that is what he felt he had to do because "No one was going to save him".
He had a lady friend who was in the same boat but she talked about being on food stamps and had nothing to worry about. As a man Kevin Samuels at that time didn't even think about food stamps because he felt like he had to find his own way but his lady friend had resources available food stamps, parents etc. In my case today this has impacted my mentality.
Society has never given me anything for free and I have had to work hard in everything I do and for everything I want. I try everything I can, suffer and the last thing I do is ask for help after I have tried everything on my end. This is not the most healthy way to be honest and it is something I am improving on but I know it'll take time. Living a certain way my whole life is not just going to stop. For my fellow men out there it is okay to ask for help but never forget the strength you possess within yourself.
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