I recently spoke to a patient at work who was going through a lot and had just got out of jail and was finding it hard to figure things out after. To him not being able to provide for his 10 month old son made him feel like he had no value and was not making anything of his life. He also felt like he had nothing to look forward to and every-time he took some steps forward he took 2 steps back. Not having money in his bank account to provide for his son meant he was a failure and was living for nothing. This had me thinking of how much we base our value in life on materialistic things, our mistakes, and to the level we provide for others.
In life we make our life valuable by how we live and what we think of ourselves. One thing that stood out was the patient talked about how his father wasn’t around growing up due to alcohol and drug use and that made him take a vow to always be there for his son and not use any of those substances. For him his value is being a father and even though he may not have the money or means to buy him diapers, his 10 month old doesn’t know anything about that. What he does know is his father holding him each and everyday and that is worth more than anything. A lot of times we base our value in life on what we can provide but we are much more than that.
What we wear, have, or give is not worth more than who we are as a person and the difference we make. That is priceless and I think talking to this patient really emphasized that. We may not be where we want to be or be giving as much as we want to but that doesn’t bring down our value as a person. Life is a journey and we all have different ones. Everything is a step by step process and I always talk about the importance of being patient with ourselves. We may bring ourselves down but there are some things in our lives we have no control over and that is okay. Those things can’t be changed by us and what we can do is focus on what we can control and how much we can influence that to get to where we want to be.
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